Please read each of the following 25 statements carefully and select the option that best reflects your general experience, ranging from strongly disagree to strongly agree.
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1. “I can’t stay calm when my girlfriend is upset with me. I get loud, speak harsh, or run away.”
2. “I always get defensive or reactive when my girlfriend is angry at me, criticizes me, or blames me.”
3. “It makes me angry when she’s jealous and doesn’t trust me.”
4. “I feel scared of my girlfriend getting angry at me. This blocks me from doing or saying what I really want.”
5. “I am scared my girlfriend will be disappointed with me.”
6. “I can’t allow my girlfriend to feel angry. I need her to always talk soft and sweet.”
7. “I feel inadequate, or like a failure, when my girlfriend is unhappy.”
8. “When she’s miserable or complaining, I feel so frustrated that nothing I do ever makes her happy.”
9. “I feel bad about myself when she judges me, controls me, or tries to change me.”
10. “I feel really uncomfortable, and want to run away, when she expresses certain painful emotions (i.e. deep pain, overwhelm, intense expressions).”
11. “I close off, and can’t feel love for her, while she feels certain painful emotions (i.e. sad, depressed, stressed).”
12. “I close my heart and become distant when my girlfriend is triggered, upset, or annoyed.”
13. “I feel like a hostage, and can’t say ‘no’, to taking care of her emotions.”
14. “I feel drained from all the time and energy I spend resolving her emotions.”
15. “When she expresses her emotions, I often feel a strong impulse to fix or solve them.”
16. “Her emotional sensitivity annoys me and ruins my happiness.”
17. “So many of her emotions are really stupid and illogical.”
18. “She is so much drama, too sensitive, a mess, crazy.”
19. “She is so immature, childish, and unwise in how she handles her emotions.”
20. “I view her as weak and fragile when she feels certain emotions.”
21. “I view her as acting like such a victim when she feels vulnerable emotions.”
22. “I hate it when she nags me or micromanages me, not trusting me to handle my responsibilities.”
23. “She is so emotionally needy, always needing my time, love, and care.”
24. “I often feel insecure, uncomfortable, or scared to initiate sexual intimacy.”
25. “I rarely have sex with her anymore and we feel more like roommates than sexual partners.”